TEENAGERS HAVE A WAY OF INNOCENTLY SAYING OR DOING SOMETHING WHICH MAKES YOU FEEL ‘YOUR AGE’ OR OLDER. They just do. Jordan managed to humble me on Sunday. She was getting ready to go to a youth group Christmas party at our church and she wanted to look through the archaic section of my closet (otherwise known as the “I hope I will wear that again one day” section) to find a possibility for the Ugliest Christmas Sweater contest to be held during the party.

Yes, the mere fact that my old favorite section of the closet was a chosen shopping site for her “ugliest” party was the first hit to humble me. Innocent strike one.

As she got further back into the corner she began saying, “Oh Mom…look how tiny you were!” Innocent strike two.

And then she located something I wore to a Navy Birthday Ball about 20 years ago. It was in the years post-80′s and sparkly was all the rage. It was a great outfit, then. She whipped it out of the closet and said, “THIS is the TACKIEST thing I have EVER seen! I’m wearing it tonight!” Innocent strike three.

Her father laughed and said, “That’s not a sweater.”

“No, Dad, but it’s just so tacky that it is bound to win something.”

Then I picked myself up off the floor and said, “I have matching shoes for that silk sequined top. Would you like to see them?”

“Would I?!? Yes! I can’t believe you have matching shoes for THIS.” She said emphatically.

And it was a done deal. She put it over her nice jeans and normal shirt and laughed at my lack of style, but managed to be kind amid the smug teenage-ness of her expressions.

We went to Walgreens to get gift wrap for her present. I expected her to run in and get the stuff. No beans. She said, “I think you are going to have to go in for me. I just can’t been seen in this outfit out in public. What if I see one of my friends from school?” And I don’t really think she expected an answer back to her statement. So I counted it as part of required motherhood and ran inside for her.

Know what she won? Third place and a Mannheim Steamroller CD that she defined as “useless”. I picked it up and added it to my music collection. I hear you laughing at me. What? A mother never gets to buy new tunes.

Teenagers, they’ll humble you. I’m down hard now. Something that was in my “best old stuff” section is now regulated to the “costume” category!

Sigh.