HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LISTENED TO THE LYRICS OF POPULAR SONGS? I don’t think this begins to happen until you have kids.

Specifically your first child.

And then every single “inappropriate” word jumps out at you like…like…like, well like a pig squealing in Walmart.

R-e-a-l-l-y l-o-u-d-l-y.

Do you remember this moment? I do.

We love the Fish 104.7 here. It’s an awesome Christian station here in our area with some rocking artists. And no, I am not old and prudish. I find it keeps my focus on the positive and doesn’t distract me from my daily tasks. But we do listen to the local pop and rock stations occasionally, too. It’s a fact of having teenagers that you have to face. Eventually your child will hear music in a store, during a birthday party, at another friend’s house, or at a restaurant. You can’t shield them from the world forever. GASP!

So here I am with my third child. She’s been exposed to two older siblings. As we say in the South, “Bless her little heart!”

The other day I hear Grace singing along to “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars. I can’t blame her in one way – it’s got a catchy tune and sounds like the perfect song for summertime. It’s clever, especially with it’s lyrics. We get to verse two and I hear that pig squealing in my ear…SQUEAL!

“…tomorrow I’ll wake up, do some P90X
Find a really nice girl, have some really nice…”

You can fill in the blank yourself. The word has three letters. Got it? Hear the pig squealing now? How nice to hear my almost seven year old singing along. Not.

So, what to do? Shield her from all technology? Never listen to popular music? Lock her away in the castle? Limit her, make rules, create boundaries…?

Well, I learned something recently that told me my instincts were right. Strengthening a child’s inner voice is much more powerful than limiting them with rules and external boundaries.

The Orange Conference and what I found there:

I recently attended the Orange Conference (thanks to a dear friend’s extra ticket) and I found a wealth of information to share with you. One of the resources I picked up was a study done by David Kinnaman and the Barna Group called “State of the Church and Family 2011: The Family and Technology Study” and it’s focus was how technology is helping families – and where they need help.

Their findings are insightful and I wanted to share them with you. The data is rich and actually asks the questions about technology and how it affects family life that have not been asked before. The six main findings about the application of family technology are this:

  1. We are modeling the way; our kids are following our lead.
  2. Technology isn’t good or evil. It reveals or amplifies what is already there.
  3. We are very connected, but perhaps to people who are not in the room.
  4. Conversations can become transactional, but need to be relational.
  5. Technology can foster ego-centric living.
  6. If you are a leader, you should facilitate this conversation.

Point #2 speaks right to my little radio lyric song with Grace. In appropriate language and sexual innuendoes existed long before the radio, the television, the internet. I need to teach her an internal character and not just regulate her with absolute limits. And to her credit, she immediately said after that song verse, “I don’t think that is very nice, do you Mama?”

There’s definitely hope in this generation…with or without technology. If we don’t pay attention to what is happening, we will not be part of the conversation though. Your thoughts?